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If going to conventions is like chilli peppers, you get the ones that hit you in the face full throttle with the first fiery taste and five seconds later you can’t even remember you had some; then there are the ones that slowly works itself up and you don’t even realise how spicy it really is until your face were streaked with tears, snot, sweat and if you are unlucky, blood. Up until now most cons I’ve been to fall under the former category, where I go, get all excited and borderline incomprehensible, and spend next three days in this eat-faecal-matters stupid grin after glow while wildly F5ing every single possible place where other people who might squee with me are squeeing. This time however, I was never in a burst of excitement. Instead, I just simple won’t stop thinking about about it a week afterwards, slowly brimming, ever lingering.

Yeah, I’m still going on about Armageddon. In fact, I'm going to write a TL;DR (NO SERIOUSLY LONG) report here, two weeks overdue. Most of this report are accumulated emails to my friends during tea break, I won't promise it's coherent, but I'll try to be entertaining.

Friday Morning:

I want a teleporting machine. Now.
There is only one bad thing directly related to this particular Arma is - how I got there. Usually it takes about three hours of drive to get to Auckland via Whakatane. Take a wild guess how long it took my bus to arrive – SEVEN hours. I kid you not – they attempted to catch'em all; "'em" being every single North Island town starting with “W”. via the route to Rotorua nontheless (Because we all know that to get to North East, we drive to South West. It's zen mate, zen). In fact, about three hours into the trip, I saw a sign saying “WELCOME TO WHAKATANE” So I started to have this suspect that Intercity is really doing a rung of some game based on a bastard child of geosurfing and orienteering. Whatever I saved on the bus are now off to a chiropractor as nerves on my back are still stinging from it.

To rub insult to injury, knowing that doing anything other than sleeping would’ve triggered motion sickness from hell, I tried to catch up on a bit sleep. Two seats across the row from me, were two very, very loud preteens giving out far too much information about their sexual intercourse history. For about five out of the seven hours. For the ones of you who don’t know , I am a painfully visual person. Do you have any ideas what images were violating my brain in the entire time?! ARGH I MUST NEVER MENTION THIS THE IMAGE’S COMING BACK TO ME ARGH AND I’M CAPLOCKING THE ENTIRE TIME IN PAIN! ACTUALLY I THINK THE CAPLOCK’S STUCK. GUYS GUYS GUYS, EH, THIS IS MY WORK COMPUTER. SHOULD I BE oh got it off now. Whoa I’m going to do shift-only for the screaming now. [sic, because I look at this now and I laugh]

Anyway. Time to seriously consider an investment in a set of Neku headphones and wear it everywhere. (Though when I did that in Dunedin, people get offended because they called out my name from my back, I can’t hear them, and they were convinced that I was snubbing them. WASN”T BRIGHT RED APOLLO JUSTICE HEADPHONES A BRIGHT RED BURNING PASSION OF HINT?!)

Friday Afternoon and Night:

Auckland, I want to be inside of you
As I walked down the road to our backpackers, two things stood out to me. One, I saw more people in that 200 metres walk than I have in the last half an year or so. Two, I had a brief moment of brain confusion as at least half of the sighs in the main street are in Chinese. It was pretty surreal. There were traffic lights, and man oh man I’m tempted to sell my local vote to the first person who will set all the roundabouts on fire and sticker some traffic lights in so seeing little red green men made me rather happy.

Welcome to our Inn! 500 gils, all you eight folks can share a bed
The backpacker was designed somewhat less user-friendly, however. For a start, they conveniently forgot to tell us in advance that they charge twenty bucks bond for the key. That to get anywhere in the seven storeys building we need to press the button AND scan the tag, in a specific order that I still haven’t worked out. (If you really want to know, my first trip up to my room went through this route: Level 3. Ground level. Level 4. Level 6. Level 3. Level 7. Ground level, Level 2, level 5. By that stage I started to feel like the extra decoration in the closet. A very, VERY grumpy extra decoration in the closet.

To form a party, press Select button.
Once I finally got into my room though, things got better. Much better. The dorm environment for a weekend with fellow peers is always a good thing, and it’s especially wonderful when the fellow peers are Lennon(:devicyrosebishonen, Lucy (~seraphik) and a few lovely lovely new people who I've lurked to and finally got to meet. (One cosplayed as Misamisa! You just don’t. Get. Any. better). Then there’s the Super Talent Fran. OH MY EFFING JPEG there’s the Super Talent Fran. Give her a curtain, a piece of wire and about 10cm square of carpet, and she will make something as elaborate as Edea’s dress in about a night. One of my first memories of the Amazing Fran will be her setting fire to her wings and somehow made it work (she was cosplaying Mortress, it was appropriate.). It was just a wonder to watch master at work. It was a slight bummer to not get to watch Lucy at work though. She's a cosplay legend to me.

And yes, before anyone ask, the Lennon in question is that Lennon. I bet you are jealous. ;D

Saturnday:

It’s time for me to confess something. Armageddon itself is a bit of a blur for me. Three days woooshed by, I was swamped most of the time that I don’t really know where the time went. As much I’d love to complete my 1337 image by claiming it’s not what it used to be, it is rather difficult consider I’ve never been to an Auckland Geddon before. That, and my current video game shop selection’s limited to The Warehouse, Harvey Normans and Dick Smith, I would be pretty thankful even for an EB store.
For three days, I died and ended in Heaven. Pity I can't remember jack all about it.

Overall this Arma is - HOLY HELL THAT IS ONE AMAZING COSPLAY
The utter most impression that came to me was the sheer size of the thing. Christchurch filled up Westpac centre. Wellington was big, completely stuffed up … eh, what’s that place called again? It was almost possible to attend all the events I wanted in both of those cons if I was organized enough, and still have time for wandering and catching up. The Auckland one however, is five levels big for a start. The layout of the place is slightly random, you could find all the niche areas in all the… Well, areas, really; and the cosplay quality was eye-bulgingly amazing.

There are something truly surreal and terrifying about seeing school aged girls AND boys walking around in the costumes that could put some of the actual show wardrobes to shame, only to find out that the said school aged year olds made the outfit themselves in two weeks out of the opshop bargain bin. For the first day I didn’t go in costume, struggling to finish the things I was mean to sell already (HAHA) and thanks to my sweet ~cloudi, I was reminded that it was completely unnecessary to try to edge cut out all my stickers.

Got to finally meet the hilarious Marly (!Sora-X-Riku), who offered toffee candy in her Pyramid Crotch. A less human would've crumbled on the thought of reaching down the top of The Great Pyramid for a Crotch Candy, but not yours truly. Afterall Pyramid was the star of my last year's Valentine card!

The candy was beautiful, just like the con.

Then The Mighty Coin Fairy (*Keysha-chan) arrived. WITH COINS. If I could cry grateful tears then, I most certainly would.

Soap Box time. Everyone look at me. Announcement
This is the point that I have to make a few hearted apologies. My organization skills was APPALLING. My only excuse is my own inexperience, but I know how much of a pain in the backside I was in the first day. It will never happen again.

Another thing that bothered me slightly is that I have no idea how many people I have unintentionally been rude to. I haven't seen many people up until then, most people I saw are just about as feral as myself. When I get excited, my brain takes a little detour taking in all the SHINY LIGHTS and my mouth just runs itself off. I don't mean to come across scornful, rude or snarky for no reason, but I probably did. If I am responsible for downing your day, I truly am sorry.

part 2: OMGOMG COSPLAY I LU except now I prefer food
Enough about me, back to cosplay amazement.

The stats had it – first day of Armageddon had something like 19000 visitors. It showed. Not that I had a chance to do much first hand searching through, all I know was for my lunch break, I practically had to claw my way through the crowd while trying to not think about the sandwich too desperately. Just like the Christchurch one, I’m thankful that the "more well travelled" individuals would call Armageddon a “fake con” and never attend it – because the people who do go really know how to use their shower. Legend has it in “real cons” tend to smell like a two months old dead octopus wrapped around sauerkrauts. Given the crowd, Arma really wasn’t that bad.

And the food court down stairs? Convenient AND delicious. They had self serving sushi. With seaweed fillings. Omnomnom, life was beautiful. The best part was just watching all those people in costumes in the food court – you just can’t beat Alucard munching on a vegetarian bento set.

The Future's in good hands
Another thing I loved about this con? The children. No, this is NOT a sarcastic comment. Rather, this is when I really do feel the hope for the future – bring on the next gen of nerd power!

The day's not ending until Cosplayers unite!
Went to H!ARP afterwards, as Loretta West. ABSOLUTELY NO ONE RECOGNISED IT. You guys all suck .

On the second thought, cosplaying a West Aucklander in West Auckland might not be the most obvious thing.

Early Sunday Morning:

Serious business, maybe too serious
Awful. Just awful. Given the nature of the incident I don't want to talk about it too much, beside this: If it was possible for me to have any less respect for the police, well done, they achieved it. I had this misconception that between beating up unarmed 12 year olds and "confiscation" ecstasy, the police might actually help somone in need as an after thought. I was wrong.

I just wish everyone in Auckland had a safe Sunday morning, even if a happy one was clearly too much to ask.

Sunday:

The Future's still in good hands
In the beginning of second day I picked up a smoothie in the Glorious Foodcourt, and had a wee chat with another guy in line about how wonderful it is to see that once a year, the younger ones can just throw out the peer pressure that they are dealing with at school all the time and just feel free to be who they are.

Here's the part that I will go off with a bit rant, about how overly territorial some of the older folks (read, most of them are actually younger than me! Somehow the actually mature folks don't have this annoying attitude).

One thing I can never fully understand is when people take this “geek hierarchy” business so very seriously. Google it if you don’t know what I’m talking about though I think you’ve probably all seen it and had a good laugh. I still don’t get why people would take themselves THAT seriously over something that really just don’t matter, especially the whole idea of “I am the last one allowed in the nerd-dom and I will bolt the door behind me” and complaining about people younger are not “true and pure like real geeks like us”. THE FUCK. If anything, I’m glad that we got them while they are young! Else by the time I’m 65 there won’t be any video game makers and what will I do for entertainments? Shooting down my neighbours?

Oh, this time around I didn’t see any cute little cosplayers like that four year old weedle Kairi. In a way I’m glad, because no way I’m competing with cuteness like that. NO WAY. I was the weedle Elk, for the ones of you who don't know. The Elk with SPINE PAIN OF DOOM.


A wild Sephiroth found! Lured with roast!
While ~cloudi and I were at the food court in second day, it was a spectacular sight as the entire place saturated with skillful cosplayers. Half way through my omnomnom, a man sitting next table to me caught my eyes. Tall, slim. Perfect long straight silver grey hair parted in the middle completed with wispy fringe. Black leather jacket completely with subtle, but surprising number of buckles and belts. Perfect in every way as the One Winged Angel, but most certainly slightly older than your usual cosplayers. I was going to turn around and ask for the Great Seph a picture, THEN I realised that this poor man wasn’t even a cosplayer. Just a random hapless bogan caught up in a room full of freaks such as myself, really. Consider myself lucky for barely scraping embarrassing myself, I text J about “OMG look left there’s this best unintentional almost cosplayer EVER”.Naturally she screamed as loud as she could “WHAT DO YOU ME LOOK AT THE MAN LEFT TO ME. WHICH WAY IS LEFT OH YOU MEAN THAT MAN I’M SUPPOSE TO LOOK AT HIM RIGHT WHY”.Subtlety is not our biggest strength. And I didn’t quite managed to dodge embarrassing myself in public, as it seems.

Take one: Now to make my bloody day
What happened to !Shin-zo made my fucking day. For the ones of you who don't know, she was scribbling on a computer down stairs and she was approached by Microsoft, asking for a $1500 commission ON SPOT.

It's when I get all jaded with the hideous popularity contests in and out of dA, when I stopped even to wonder if actual skills would count for anything in this suffocating post-social network
Fully-HAILOOKATME attitude is considered as norm, bam and real talent is appreciated in real world.

Makes me beam with happiness.

Suit check, hair gel check, now hand over our Shanghai Princess
Went to a fancy dinner at Orbits with Lennon, JJ and Jin (*wissy-j). The food was astonishingly delicious, I might try to replicate my main some time too.

The moment "formal dress" was suggested, I immediate went for a suit, shirt and a cosplay tie courtesy of Lucy. I also aimed at getting a top hat, a monocle, a cane, a cigar and a moustache to truly dress as the biggest tool possible, which made Lennon facepalm in the corner. The truest quote of the day:

Lennon: "This is what I call personal differences. "Formal Dress" for me means looking as smart and sharp as possible. For you, it's an excuse to act like a complete twit."

Lucy sure was on the same wavelength as me though. She recommended a horse carriage and an entire fake British Public School personal background. I think I love her.

With the power of friendship, Keyblade could happen!
Second massive highlight of the entire experience, was Community Sourcing a cosplay. Again, I had the opportunity to watch a cosplay master at work, *wissy-j this time around, and I swear, I get wiser by the minute. Guys, next year I will no longer be this crappy cosplay n00b. With amazing inspirations like that, I SHALL LEARN AND PREVEIL!

Monday:

Calm, collected, time to conclude the pieces
During the manning of Flusical, there’s an interesting trend. There are two distinctive groups of people – the ones that will come here and completely mess up your display then leave; then there are the ones who will come here and completely clean up your display then leave. The latter have helped me tremendously by turning my strips of stickers into highly visible, Tetris Block formatted perfection, while I have no rights of what-so-ever of complaining about the former as I’m by far the worst in that group. Funny creatures we are.

Another thing that have never failed to amuse me is people insisted on asking "did you draw that?" while you are drawing. It's tempting to say no, I do it with my telepathic power because I'm THAT bad ass. Still this don't top the experience I had once when someone watched a girl drawing for entirety of five minutes, then turned around and asked me "did you draw that?"

I know some of you will wonder so here, yes, there were some fantastic Phoenix Wright cosplays. Ema Skye and Feenie by =Arkillian, a super adorable Trucy by ~KERA-Doll, and a wondeful Gumshoe who I haven't managed to get in touch with.

Epilogue
Had to run before the end of the con, as I didn't want to take an extra day off. Powder foundation crushed and exploded in my bag, which was bad because last time something powdery exploded in Whakatane airport the entire place got the Anthrax treatment. Lucky for me, I got home without the cold shower.

Immediately I crashed to the land of zed zed zed. Good con? Hell yeah.

...

Wait, there's more.

On first of November, I finally finished cutting out the stickers. Yeah, I was being too ambitious on thinking I could've finished it before the con. As a result I no longer have wrists.

Say hi to left and right Goatse though, they now function as substitutes for me.

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